Recently Added:
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Robert Benchley on funny
Author: Robert Benchley“Why don’t you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?” -Robert Benchley
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Logan P. Smith on funny
Author: Logan P. Smith“People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.” -Logan P. Smith
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Spike Milligan on funny
Author: Spike Milligan“I can speak Esperanto like a native.” -Spike Milligan
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Joe E. Lewis on funny
Author: Joe E. Lewis“The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.” -Joe E. Lewis
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Don Marquis on funny
Author: Don Marquis“Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.” -Don Marquis
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Fred Allen on funny
Author: Fred Allen“I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.” -Fred Allen
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Roy Orbison on funny
Author: Roy Orbison“I may be a living legend, but that sure don’t help when I’ve got to change a flat tire.” -Roy Orbison
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Michael J. Fox on funny
Author: Michael J. Fox“I’m going to marry a Jewish woman because I like the idea of getting up Sunday morning and going to the deli.” -Michael J. Fox
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Al Gore on funny
Author: Al Gore“The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I’d been up all night inventing the Camcorder.” -Al Gore
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Lewis Mumford on funny
Author: Lewis Mumford“Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.” -Lewis Mumford
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Jimmy Durante on funny
Author: Jimmy Durante“My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.” -Jimmy Durante
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Jack Benny on funny
Author: Jack Benny“I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either.” -Jack Benny
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Arthur Conan Doyle on funny
Author: Arthur Conan Doyle“I consider that a man’s brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.” -Arthur Conan Doyle
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James Thurber on funny
Author: James Thurber“Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.” -James Thurber
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Cathy Guisewite on funny
Author: Cathy Guisewite“Defy your own group. Rebel against yourself.” -Cathy Guisewite
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Bob Hope on funny
Author: Bob Hope“If I have to lay an egg for my country, I’ll do it.” -Bob Hope
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David Brenner on funny
Author: David Brenner“When I go to a bar, I don’t go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine.” -David Brenner
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Alfred Hitchcock on funny
Author: Alfred Hitchcock“Television has brought back murder into the home – where it belongs.” -Alfred Hitchcock
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Les Dawson on funny
Author: Les Dawson“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.” -Les Dawson
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Margaret Smith on funny
Author: Margaret Smith“My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?” -Margaret Smith
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Naguib Mahfouz on funny
Author: Naguib Mahfouz“God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.” -Naguib Mahfouz
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Toni Morrison on funny
Author: Toni Morrison“I like marriage. The idea.” -Toni Morrison
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Gloria Steinem on funny
Author: Gloria Steinem“I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.” -Gloria Steinem
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Marilyn vos Savant on funny
Author: Marilyn vos Savant“Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.” -Marilyn vos Savant
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Lewis Black on funny
Author: Lewis Black“There’s no such thing as soy milk. It’s soy juice.” -Lewis Black