Recently Added:
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Rita Rudner on funny
Author: Rita Rudner“In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.” -Rita Rudner
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Josh Billings on funny
Author: Josh Billings“There’s a great power in words, if you don’t hitch too many of them together.” -Josh Billings
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George Burns on funny
Author: George Burns“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.” -George Burns
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William Lyon Phelps on funny
Author: William Lyon Phelps“If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.” -William Lyon Phelps
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Rob Corddry on funny
Author: Rob Corddry“If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.” -Rob Corddry
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Johnny Carson on funny
Author: Johnny Carson“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.” -Johnny Carson
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Fran Lebowitz on funny
Author: Fran Lebowitz“Polite conversation is rarely either.” -Fran Lebowitz
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Mel Brooks on funny
Author: Mel Brooks“If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.” -Mel Brooks
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Emo Philips on funny
Author: Emo Philips“I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.” -Emo Philips
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Henny Youngman on funny
Author: Henny Youngman“If at first you don’t succeed… so much for skydiving.” -Henny Youngman
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Laurence J. Peter on funny
Author: Laurence J. Peter“Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.” -Laurence J. Peter
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Tim Allen on funny
Author: Tim Allen“Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.” -Tim Allen
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Samuel Butler on funny
Author: Samuel Butler“Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.” -Samuel Butler
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Samuel Goldwyn on funny
Author: Samuel Goldwyn“I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they’re dead.” -Samuel Goldwyn
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Alanis Morissette on funny
Author: Alanis Morissette“We’ll love you just the way you are if you’re perfect.” -Alanis Morissette
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Brooke Shields on funny
Author: Brooke Shields“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.” -Brooke Shields
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Robert Byrne on funny
Author: Robert Byrne“Until you walk a mile in another man’s moccasins you can’t imagine the smell.” -Robert Byrne
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Marcelene Cox on funny
Author: Marcelene Cox“If at first you don’t succeed, blame your parents.” -Marcelene Cox
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Jay Leno on funny
Author: Jay Leno“The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.” -Jay Leno
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Bette Davis on funny
Author: Bette Davis“Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I’m afraid it did.” -Bette Davis
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E. B. White on funny
Author: E. B. White“Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car.” -E. B. White
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Henry A. Kissinger on funny
Author: Henry A. Kissinger“Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative.” -Henry A. Kissinger
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Robin Williams on funny
Author: Robin Williams“If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?” -Robin Williams
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Frank Lloyd Wright on funny
Author: Frank Lloyd Wright“TV is chewing gum for the eyes.” -Frank Lloyd Wright