Rodney Dangerfield
Quotations
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“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.” -Rodney Dangerfield
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“Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide he exposes himself.” -Rodney Dangerfield
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“I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.” -Rodney Dangerfield
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“With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.” -Rodney Dangerfield
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“I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.” -Rodney Dangerfield
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“My mother had morning sickness after I was born.” -Rodney Dangerfield
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“Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.” -Rodney Dangerfield
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“When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.” -Rodney Dangerfield
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“My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.” -Rodney Dangerfield
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“I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.” -Rodney Dangerfield
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“My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.” -Rodney Dangerfield
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“At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can’t.” -Rodney Dangerfield
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“My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.” -Rodney Dangerfield
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“I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.” -Rodney Dangerfield
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“Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie.’ He said ‘God beat me to it.’” -Rodney Dangerfield
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“I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.” -Rodney Dangerfield
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“I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.” -Rodney Dangerfield
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“I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.” -Rodney Dangerfield
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“I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.” -Rodney Dangerfield
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“My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.” -Rodney Dangerfield
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“With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.” -Rodney Dangerfield
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“With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.” -Rodney Dangerfield
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I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. – Rodney Dangerfield
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