Woody Allen
Quotations
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“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.” -Woody Allen
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“I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.” -Woody Allen
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“Time is nature’s way of keeping everything from happening at once.” -Woody Allen
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“I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” -Woody Allen
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“I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.” -Woody Allen
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“Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.” -Woody Allen
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“I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.” -Woody Allen
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“Time is nature’s way of keeping everything from happening at once.” -Woody Allen
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“If my films don’t show a profit, I know I’m doing something right.” -Woody Allen
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“Right now it’s only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.” -Woody Allen
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“Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.” -Woody Allen
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“Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.” -Woody Allen
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“Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats.” -Woody Allen
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“I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!” -Woody Allen
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“I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government.” -Woody Allen
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“I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.” -Woody Allen
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“Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.” -Woody Allen
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“I think being funny is not anyone’s first choice.” -Woody Allen
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“The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.” -Woody Allen
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“If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.” -Woody Allen
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“It is impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune.” -Woody Allen
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“His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.” -Woody Allen
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“It is impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune.” -Woody Allen
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“I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.” -Woody Allen
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“I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.” -Woody Allen
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“Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.” -Woody Allen
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