P. J. O’Rourke
Quotations
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“If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“There’s a certain kind of behavior in the Arab world that, to me, resembles the way young men behave when there is no significant influence from women in their lives.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“The great thing about being a print journalist is that you are permitted to duck. Cameramen get killed while the writers are flat on the floor. A war correspondent for the BBC dedicated his memoir to 50 fallen colleagues, and I guarantee you they were all taking pictures. I am only alive because I am…
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“People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“I do have to travel a lot for speaking engagements.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“I think it’s been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“Positive rights are the right to shelter, the right to education, the right to health care, the right to a living wage. These things are – these are, I would call them, more properly, political rights rather than positive rights. And they are extremely tricky, because now we are dealing with things that are zero…
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“Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God’s infinite mercy, a last resort.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“Never wear anything that panics the cat.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I’m not even sure we can draw lessons from them.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“I think it’s been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“You can’t get rid of poverty by giving people money.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I’m not even sure we can draw lessons from them.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I’m not even sure we can draw lessons from them.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“Hubris is one of the great renewable resources.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“The inherent purpose of American government is let people seek their own goals and to encourage them to be responsible on the various adventures they have on their way to those goals, good, bad, and otherwise.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“I think it’s been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God’s infinite mercy, a last resort.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one’s friends’ and relatives’ children.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you’re fortunate – and both of us are – you come from the kidding kind of Irish family.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“Positive rights are the right to shelter, the right to education, the right to health care, the right to a living wage. These things are – these are, I would call them, more properly, political rights rather than positive rights. And they are extremely tricky, because now we are dealing with things that are zero…
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“Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“You don’t despair about something like the Middle East, you just do the best you can.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“I realised the bohemian life was not for me. I would look around at my friends, living like starving artists, and wonder, ‘Where’s the art?’ They weren’t doing anything. And there was so much interesting stuff to do, so much fun to be had… maybe I could even quit renting.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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“People are always angry at America. They’re absolutely certain that America either caused their problems or is deliberately not fixing their problems. But the anger is always directed at America and never at Americans.” -P. J. O’Rourke
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